Rock Buddies: A Management Strategy to Teach Empathy and Kindness

Did you draw the short straw this year?  Do you have that class list that all the teachers sigh and shake their heads at when they see it?  Looking for a creative way to build community that your students will buy into?  Then Rock Buddies is for you!

I feel your pain.  I've had that class.  Not one year, but several years.  I've experienced this class in the primary and upper grade levels.  I've seen firsthand the clickiness, the bullying, the unwillingness to work with other classmates, and, as a teacher, it's painful to watch.

To help my students, I learned that three things are necessary:  
    1. Encourage and teach empathy  
    2. Teach it concretely  
    3. Make it fun

Photo Cred: WikiHow at http://bit.ly/2aYd3Be

Number one is a necessity.  It's not innate and definitely not something all classes come to you with.  Numbers two and three are important for buy-in from your students.

Enter, Rock Buddies! 

This was a strategy I learned about in my undergrad and really ran with during my teaching.  Below are some basic ideas and background, but after reading, I'm sure your head will be swarming with other applications.  It's the gift that keeps on giving!

So what is a rock buddy you may ask?
Literally, they're rocks.  Students pick a rock from outside, decorate it, and make it their pet.  It comes to school with them and stays for the week.  Each week, they trade their rock with another student and that student is now their own personal rock buddy.  They're expected to do nice things for their rock buddy throughout the week.  That's where the teaching part comes in.

So how do you implement this? (Get my Print-and-Go Rock Buddy Packet here!)

Step 1: As homework the first week of school (or anytime your class is in need of some empathy support), assign students the task of finding a rock.  The only requirements are that it must fit in the palm of their hand and be bigger than their finger nail.  

Then, say no more.  The buzz this will generate is amazing and I'll almost guarantee everyone completes this homework (Disclaimer: I have had years where students did not complete this homework.  Sigh.  So take your class on a rock finding walk one day.)

Step 2: Have a rock decorating party.  Take 30 minutes to let students decorate their rock.  Give them access to paint, markers, and googly eyes.  Feathers were a big hit one year as was tin foil.  Let them make the rock their own.

Ok, so we made our rocks.  Now what?  

Weekly Trade: Each Monday, I had students trade their rock with another student in the class.  I'm a bit of a control freak those first few weeks of school, so I chose who they traded with.  I also chose pairs that I knew would be successful, like their best friend. Make a small group of three if you think one student needs to observe what good friendship looks like.  However you pair students up, ensure that they will be successful.

Rock Buddy Poster to add ideas from Class Discussion

Class Discussion: Brainstorm a list with your class of nice things they could do for their rock buddy.  This will be easier if you've paired them up with someone they like.  Some ideas my class has come up with before:  Make them a card, sit with them at lunch, ask them to join your group, help them with classwork, give them a compliment.  You'll be impressed with how nice your class can actually be!  Post this list in class so that students can get ideas throughout the week.  Get a free poster here!

Hold Them Accountable: Let students know that on Friday, you'll be meeting as a class again and you'll want to hear all the amazing things their rock buddies have done for them.  Give them reminders throughout the week-"You have three days left to do something nice for your rock buddy."  On Friday, have your class meet in a circle.  Ask for volunteers to share something nice their rock buddy did for them.  If you hear something amazing, add to the list you created earlier in the week.  Enjoy how excited your class is to share their niceness.  Pat yourself on the back.

Repeat:  For the first few weeks of our rock buddy adventure, I want to guarantee success, so I continue making the pairings easy for students.  I give reminders about what they can do for each other.  If a student shares something nice they did or their rock buddy did, I stop class and make a big deal about it.  Students will enjoy getting praise for being a kind person.  You desperately want this to be a bedrock of your class culture!  (See what I did there?  BedROCK?)

When the Going Gets Tough: A few weeks in, once I feel that we've had enough success, I throw in a challenge by pairing students with someone who is not their best friend.  I won't pair arch enemies up for quite awhile because I know how closely I'll need to monitor and support that situation.  I want to guarantee that students have ample time to gain ideas about how to be kind to their classmates.  

Looking for more tips and tricks to make Rock Buddies successful in your classroom? Read my Rock Buddies Tips and Tricks post!